That’s what they say. In Hawaii it rains a lot. But many times it doesn’t last long and many times a sprinkle ends in a gorgeous rainbow that makes your heart pitter patter. It’ll literally take your breathe away and make you stop and take a glimpse. Each time you look back the rainbow is different. They say no two people see a rainbow the same since it changes by the slightest variation of where you are. In any case, and back to my post…it has to rain to have rainbows…
This little saying helps me get through tough times. Living in Hawaii what tough times could there be, right? Not many, really. No, we’re pretty damn happy. Life is not bad. Whether living in a gorgeous sprawling house or in a tiny beach shack, none of it really matters because we spend much time at the beach, out hiking or driving around the island to see all it has to offer. We love HAWAII and what IT, this awesome land and culture, has to offer. That’s why we are here, not for our houses or silly things like that.
Yes life is good. I cannot lie. But there is one thing that is my rain shower, my dark cloud that sometimes hangs over me. Sometimes, I just really really miss my family.
Sometimes I question, “Did we do the right thing by moving to ‘paradise'” I feel guilty for being far from family. Sad that my son and daughter don’t get to see their grandparents or grow up giggling and getting into trouble with their cousins. I am sad that my nephews don’t know me as well as I’d like them to.
When we moved to Maui we sold almost all of our possessions.
We moved over with about 6 suitcases, a board bag filled with two surfboards, and an 8 foot by 5 foot pallet filled with what remained of our life back in California. Oh wait, my parents were awesome and sent over another 4 or 5 boxes via UPS for us. But that was it. We let it all go. Said goodbye to much of our past and hello to a bright sunshine filled future. But of all the things we ‘sacrificed’ it is living without family that is by far the toughest.
I used to be sad that I didn’t have my local bagel shop (they knew us by name) or Trader Joes or Target. Yes those things made me sad when I first moved here. My conveniences were taken away. But then I remembered, that’s what I wanted. I wanted to escape the normalcy of what our life was. I wanted to be pushed to be in a new culture, one totally different than mine. And experience all that comes with that…the culture shock, the ups and downs, the learning and the awesome transformation as this foreign land starts to feel like home and your neighbors know you and the local farmers market knows you by name. That experience and the growth that comes from it is wonderful.
But I often question, “is it worth it?”
When I think, “life is short” it makes me want to pack up and move to the next adventure, after all we need to ‘seize the day’! But then it also makes me want to pack up and move HOME. To be by family so that my kids can have adventures right there at home. And learn from their grandparents and live through the stories of their past. Right there at HOME.
I’m feeling a bit melancholy tonight. My mother in law left back to California today. We had a wonderful 10 days with her and my children are just smitten by her. But it really made me miss my family, my mom & dad and brother and his family and my sister and her family – we’re a close bunch, even though we’re spread out across Michigan to California to Hawaii.
That is the hardest part, the biggest sacrifice, of this journey of picking up and moving to a new place.
I mostly talk about my rainbows here on The Ohana Mama. But the reality is, that’s my rain. The missing of loved ones.
BUT, thankfully tonight I’ll go to sleep and tomorrow the sun will rise. And perhaps, we’ll be so lucky, to have a rainbow.
After all, you can’t have rainbows without rain.