Placenta on my hair?

I’ve heard about the wonders of placenta. How it can combat post partum depression. How some cultures bury it by a tree. Ah the almighty placenta!  I can’t help but be proud of the greatness that is, THE PLACENTA.  After all, hell, I can GROW (or is it make?) a placenta!  Ha! Take that MEN!

I did not save my placenta after giving birth to either of my children.  But I see no harm (a teeny tiny gag, sure, but harm? no.) in anyone wanting to do whatever they please with the placenta they have grown/made. Eat it, bury it, pop it like a Tylenol or rub it on their face. It’s theirs.

That’s my take on placenta talk.  {Wow. I have never written or said the word placenta so much in my life…}

Ok so fast forward to last week, when I received these packets of hair conditioner from my mother in law.  I was excited to give my hair some love with a mask of sorts.  And it was really sweet of my mother in law to think of me (I’ll take it as her wanting me to take some time for myself and NOT that she thinks my hair needs the mask). I’ve seen these packets at the store before. But evidently I had never really read the packet.

haskIt wasn’t until my husband looked up in horror after reading the packet and professed, “That’s DISGUSTING” that I took notice.

Me: “What?”

Him: “Henna ‘n’ Placenta“?!?!?!

Me: “Oh yeah, it’s for your hair.”

Wait. Hold on. Back up. I read it myself, “Henna ‘n’ Placenta”. Placenta? Placenta as in baby, as in afterbirth?  Hold.the.phone.

Me: “It can’t be human placenta.  Is placenta also a plant? (oh please say yes)  Fuck it, let’s google it.”

A quick tap on the keys and a pounce on the return button, I found out that it’s not human placenta.

Oh good. Phew. That would be fairly odd, weird, damn near gross.

Oh wait. So it’s not human…it’s….

SHEEP PLACENTA

Oh, ok, that’s better.

WAIT. No it’s not, that’s still gross and did the mother sheep have a say with what they are doing with her placenta?

I mean, what if she wanted to make pills out of it or bury it by the barn.  And they say no animal cruelty.

Hask, I beg to differ, You TOOK HER PLACENTA AWAY! And SOLD IT! The poor sheep.

And now I am putting it on my hair. I am so sorry sheep.  Really I am.

But I have to tell you, my hair is now B-EWE-tiful! (thank you!)

Comments

  1. LMAO! One of the best posts EVER. I can totally see Greg’s face too. Perfection.

  2. I love it! haha

  3. I am dying at “B-EWE-tiful”. Lol!

    So, forget the placenta. How was the henna? I want to put henna on my hair to turn all the gray a lovely red. :-) Fill me in!

  4. I seen those packets at CVS when I was in the states. I was curious to try but even more grossed out so I put it back on the shelf!!

  5. LOL, love your post! I would be grossed out too….but if it works…

  6. LOL. I like your “B-EWE-tiful” pun, though.
    .-= Erin´s last blog ..New York and San Francisco Bay Deals! =-.

  7. Wow who woulda thunk!? But holy crap I’m dying of laughter…Poor Sheepie!
    .-= Brittany´s last blog ..Barnes & Noble Weekly Deals #1 =-.

  8. oh that is hilarious! I’m glad it did wonders for your hair!
    .-= Tara´s last blog ..Beauty Sense-Barbar’s Eco 8000 Blow Dryer (and Giveaway) =-.

  9. omg, I was saying ICK the entire time I read this until your last line, which cracked me up!
    .-= Creative Junkie´s last blog ..Either I am an adult in a Charlie Brown special or I am simply yelling under water. =-.

  10. LOL. That’s funny! Sheep placenta. Definitely better than human, but still a “ewe’ factor. Mwa-ha-ha.
    .-= Erin´s last blog ..New York and San Francisco Bay Deals! =-.

  11. First – EWwwwwwwE!

    Second, that is hysterical. And still ew.

    Finally, did your hair really look that much better? Because if so I might have to get over the ew (and ewe) factor.
    .-= Kate @ The Shopping Mama´s last blog ..PicPocket Books for iPhone and iTouch =-.

  12. That’s crazy funny but disgusting at the same time! My mom was in the hospital room when my daughter was born and was pretty insistent that she wanted to see the placenta – I’m laying there bleeding to e point of needing a transfusion due to the worse tear you can get and all I could do was laugh. Disturbing but funny!

    I would not put that stuff in my hair. :-)
    .-= Rachael´s last blog ..Loving Me Some Baby Rolls! =-.

    • @Rachael: My brother took a gander at his wife’s placenta when she had their kids. He was really intrigued (jealous maybe? ;) ) lol!

      gag gag gag

  13. I have used that stuff before and its FABULOUS!

    trisha

  14. omg that is hilarious yet disturbing at the same time LOL

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