Usually it’s the other way around. Life happens, I write about it. Easy.
But sometimes it’s backwards.
My blog is not about using the restroom or hovering but I have to continue the conversation from Sunday. The poll results were very eye opening, by the way. Wow! Bare bum ladies are all over the place!
And as some said, hovering leads to urine all over the place.
And as I learned today. That’s true. All hoverers should be warned. This could happen to you…
Alone with my 2 year old in a bathroom stall at McDonalds, there I hovered.
I know these bathrooms. They are relatively clean and easy to access. They are one of my go to places when I head to town and need to use the loo. Starbucks is also on my list with Old Navy coming in third…Old Navy’s bathroom is in the way back of the store and I have been known to shop on the way back to the car so I leave that as a last resort.
But any good mommy knows where she can find a restroom either for herself or for her child, at any moment. We just know. And if we don’t, we find one FAST.
So, today I headed to town with Leah to get my new computer power cord. $89 later, and I realized that I had forgotten to go to the bathroom while at Walmart earlier…I didn’t really forget but I would rather hold it then go in their bathroom with a touchy toddler. (can you say d.i.r.t.y.)
I also forgot when I went to the CLEAN mac store…I totally had planned on going there but alas, a climbing toddler made me forget that I was aching to use a restroom (please tell me I am not the only mom that forgets to go to the bathroom!)
So McDonalds, it was. We headed in, it’s right to the right of the back door and it’s CLEAN! Yay!
“Leah, DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING!”
Alright. I put down multiple sheets of toilet seat covers and even hung them over the edge. Nothing was touching this mama.
And then for some reason I decided to hover too.
Very Very bad idea.
Trying to keep my eye on Leah, my legs from buckling and all urine in the toilet was…damn near impossible.
And here is where I totally grossed MYSELF out.
I peed. And it went on the cover. And then it started rolling DOWN the cover. Off the lip of the cover and onto the ground BY MY FEET.
Feet which were not covered but instead were naked in flip flops.
I couldn’t stop peeing. I tried to channel my kegal muscles but it was a lost cause. Trickle trickle trickle.
My own utter grossness.
On the floor.
In a puddle.
For some poor woman to walk into next, who will surely think the worst of the soul who used the toilet before her (me).
I tried my best to clean it up but didn’t want to totally clean the toilet. God forbid I get other people’s urine on me in the process.
And then we left.
After a thorough washing of our hands.
And quick RUN outta there.
And a promise to myself to NEVER EVER EVER hover again.
(and to do my kegel exercises three times a day…by the way, have you done your kegels today?)