When did blogging become the new dating?

When someone unsubscribes from The Ohana Mama I get an email notifying me.  Yes, I choose to torture myself.  And yes you’ve been warned..I see you!

Now, many times it’s a person that probably subscribed when I was doing a bunch of giveaways and it was a way to get an extra entry.  Now they are sick of me babbling about non giveaway stuff and going on and on about Hawaii, being a Mom and real life stuff.

BUT, then there are the times when I get the email notification and I see the email address and it’s someone that I more “know” and think of as a bloggy friend.

And I won’t lie. It hurts. It stings a bit.  (I’m being a tad dramatic here but yes, it makes me go “hmmmm” what the F?)

I do all I can to hold myself back from sending them an email asking them, “why oh why? why did you unsubscribe?!” I don’t want to sound desperate. No, that would not be good. (but still “why oh why?!”)

But alas I need to realize that perhaps, they just aren’t that into me…and so through this conversation on twitter….

I ask…

(a la Carrie Bradshaw)

When did blogging become the new dating?

Filled with the pitter patter of an excited heart when those subscription numbers go up, the new twitter follower follows (and @s me! bestill my heart) followed by the ultimate…a comment, maybe a few per week. Wow. Pure bloggy friendship bliss.

And then to see that unsub email…it’s like being broken up via a sticky note.


  1. That is such a great way to think about it. And it’s like you’re getting dumped via email or text. Two things that, thankfully for once, I am old enough and got married young enough that I never had happen.

    I have told myself to stop looking. And then I look.

  2. I don’t know how to track who is subscribing to me or not, so I guess that is a good thing. I jsut see a number and see that it might go down or up everyone once in awhile. But I do get “hurt feelings” a little when someone legitimate (not spam or realitor in florida) unfollows me on twitter. Or even when people don’t comment when I am sure that they will. It’s a weird thing, isn’t it!
    Well I love your posts so keep ’em coming.
    .-= Mama Mary´s last blog ..longevity is key =-.

  3. How do you find out if someone unsubscribed? LOL! Oh, don’t tell me, I have enough on my plate right now! Ugh!
    .-= Shop with Me Mama (Kim)´s last blog ..Internet was down! =-.

  4. I use Google reader as well…but have found that I don’t even open it most of the time. I go back to my fav blogs (like here!) day after day – excited to open their blog and see a new post!

    I honestly don’t even know how many subscribers I have – but I do know my stats. Now, I’m going to have to go check!!
    .-= Kasey @ All Things Mamma´s last blog ..Hope Emerging =-.

  5. I know what you mean…it upsets me when someone I’ve even exchanged emails with and chatted with unsubscribes. What can you do?

  6. Sarah! You’re a bad girl making Karen all guilty and jazz! LOL!

    I get the emails too and I don’t know why but I know it’s probably just someone who subscribed as an extra entry thingy… and besides, who needs em?! dime a dozen I say!

    .-= Angie´s last blog ..Newest eBillMe.com Contest =-.

  7. I have very few e-mail subscriptions. As mentioned by someone else, it was taking up too much time going through all that, so I am a Google Reader or Facebook Fan now. It’s so much easier. You are one of the few I do get in my e-mail though.
    .-= Lorri Jeanne´s last blog ..Sin In Linen =-.

  8. I don’t get the unsubscribe notifications. But recently someone e-mailed me and asked me to remove them from the subscription, saying they were going to use a new e-mail. That was nice they were telling me they were going to use a new e-mail, but I wondered why they didn’t just hit unsubscribe themselves? Plus, it made me wonder if they really re-subscribed. LOL. I prefer not knowing, not paying attention. Just have fun with it.

    BTW, love the Sex in the City thought. One of my favorite shows. So when are we going to see you on the side of a bus?

    • @erin, Yeah, I took down all my stats in my sidebar cause I didn’t care anymore (or care to see it in my face :) ). I care about the comments and interacting with everyone, that’s the fun part!

  9. At my age, 37, I think I have finally grown up. My subscription settings used to tell me when someone unsubscribed but then I thought, what was the point of that? Was I gonna track them down? Was I going to un-follow/subscribe in retaliation?
    As I have been an on-again/off-again reader of yours for well over a year now, I really wouldn’t have pegged you for letting something like this bother you – tongue in cheek or not. Guess it helps those that do feel like they have been slighted in some way by something like this, & are smaller bloggers than you, feel better – It happens to all of us.
    What I wish you had added, even though the post was written in humor, was that we are more than our followers, subscribers, stats and page ranks. I guess I can say that now after working so hard for a year to build up my stats and realizing I am no better a person than the next because of it. What did it get me? Some nicer things to review? I think we all want to be liked as a previous commenter said. For me, I am not jealous of your popularity or stats – I just want to be as thin as you. So if you ever receive my unsubscribe notification – know it is b/c I am tired of torturing myself over your figure. It just ain’t in my genes/jeans.
    I can honestly say that while getting some great products that we would never have been able to afford, had I not become a product review blogger – the real benefit has been the connections with others through my posts. Cliché as that may sound, I would trade any and all of the items (except the Dyson – I hope to be buried with that machine) I have received, for the friendships that I have built.
    As a stay-at-home mom who moved to a smaller town in order to afford living on one income, who had an awful 2009, I realized that women are indeed capable of true friendships. That means no back-stabbing, truly caring for eachother, and/or not gossiping about eachother. For me blogging has become the an online friendship matchmaker. And unlike a dating relationship, the more the merrier, right?
    Oh and I recently unsubscribed to 99% of my email subscriptions (for my sanity’s sake) – I still have them in a reader but (& you should feel ever so special here) yours is one that I chose to keep. So I guess we are still an “item.” Though, you don’t subscribe to me… That puts you in the same category as Patrick Dempsey and me as I am having a one sided affair with him as well.
    .-= Kari @ AGAM´s last blog ..High School Reunions – To Go or Not To Go =-.

    • @Kari @ AGAM, Aloha Kari! Great to see you!

      Your right, I should have added how we are more than stats..that’s how I blog…I took a gamble to focus more on personal and travel writing rather than review/giveaways. I didn’t let the fact that my stats would take a beating without giveaways, hold me back. I wanted to share more of me to really connect with people. So yeah, I am all about the “we are more than stats” camp.

      And when someone unsubs, I never get mad or vindictive. I just care. I do! I’ll admit it! And see, others do to. We’re human, creating human content, and human connections.

      I am turning that email notification off. It does me no good. (other than make a fun post topic :) )

  10. Oh how I know your pain! I hate getting those unsub notifications.
    .-= Crystal @ Simply Being Mommy´s last blog ..The Princess and The Frog Blu-ray Combo Pack and DVD Giveaway =-.

  11. Sarah, thanks for the forgiveness. Guilt trip worked. :) I’ve been reading your blog for at least a year, I think. So at least you know that I didn’t just unsubscribed and ran! I really do read your blog, lol. I read many, many blogs a day, I’m not much of a commenter, because I’m just shy like that, but I’m a faithful reader of a blog with good content. Yours is great and I really enjoy reading your posts. Now I’m trying to get over my hurt of being called cruel and insensitve, sniff-sniff, when I was only trying to manage my subscriptions. I’m gonna go get a tissue now, sniff. ;)) Hope ya’ll are having sunshine and bright skies today!
    .-= Karen ~Georgia Angel´s last blog ..Full Yellow Moon =-.

    • @Karen ~Georgia Angel, I’m pretty sure Jenny called ME cruel and insensitive. So pass me the tissue box!;)

  12. Not only did I love the post… and my Cameo, (Direct all funds to my swiss bank account)I love that the person who unsubscribed admitted it. You are a cruel blogger, smoking her out that way, me likes. I am going to needle point you a pillow that says cruel blogger. (oddly, I keep offering to needle point things and yet I have no idea how.) See, I just promised you a gift and pulled it out from under you. I too am a cruel blogger. Thanks for the laugh!
    .-= Jenny from the blog´s last blog ..License to Procreate =-.

  13. I am new to blogging but it does seem a little like dating or a populartiy contest. I am going to try to not let those things bug me but I will likely be unsuccessful…everyone wants to feel wanted right?
    .-= Christine´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Dr. Suess =-.

  14. That is way too funny…I feel so sad too, it almost makes me feel like I’m the one not doing enough in the “relationship” for them to just up and leave me like that.

    LOL, Barb :)

  15. I’m so glad you brought this up because I was actually thinking of changing my subscription to your blog to a different email address, but I didn’t want you to think that I was dropping you. Your blog was one of the first that I signed up for, and at the time, I was using a certain email address. Now I have one that’s dedicated to reading blogs and I’ve been meaning to switch over. So, if you see an “unsubscribe” from me, rest assured that I’m still subscribing! By the way, I’m also a blogger and used to get upset when people unsubscribed, but most of the time I figure out that it’s either a change of address or they’re the kind of person who just subscribes to get a contest entry. I try not to take it personally. You can’t please everyone.
    .-= Susan Heim´s last blog ..Two Free Online Magazines That Will Enrich Your Life! =-.

    • @Susan Heim, Susan, you are too sweet! I have had people email me letting me know that they are changing their address or leaving another reason why. Glad you aren’t leaving me…lol smooches! xoxo Sarah

  16. I was like that when I had those notifications turned on. I would get sad each time someone would unsubscribe. I kind of took it personal like they didn’t like what I had to say. To end that, I just turned off those notifications.
    .-= Stefani´s last blog ..I Got A Bogart Award =-.

  17. Great post! I feel the same way.
    .-= Melanie @ Whimsical Creations´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday-Kitty Kitty =-.

  18. if it makes you feel any better I just subscribed via email because you are THAT important to me :) I’m going to ditch the reader and focus on a select few blogs I really enjoy. I want to make sure I comment more and this way I won’t lose you in the gazillion feeds in my reader :)
    .-= Heather (formerly Maternal Spark)´s last blog ..An interview with…Moi ! =-.

  19. Hmmm…I’m just starting to get out there in the dating–er–blogging world.

    Though I’m new to the concept of subscriptions, I can understand both sides – sometimes you just need to give your email inbox a break. Yet it must also sting to know someone might think you’re not “date-worthy.”

    Here’s hoping I find some suitor/friends/subscribers….

    Happy Hump Day, all!
    .-= The Well-Versed Mom´s last blog ..iWish =-.

  20. I turned off my unsub notifications. I got two in one day last spring and couldn’t handle it! It was all I could do not to stalk the people.

    “It’s not YOU. It’s ME” is probably the response you’d get. And we all know how hollow that rings.
    .-= Kate @ The Shopping Mama´s last blog ..Pampers with Dry Max Review + Liz Lange Clutch Giveaway =-.

    • @Kate @ The Shopping Mama, Oh god…two in one day, I’d die.

      And it totally is “It’s not YOU, it’s ME” totally! That’s so funny! Proving my theory even more ;) This dating stuff is hard!

  21. Great post! Loved the SIC reference! Blogging is definitely something personal for me, and I hope that for my readers it’s personal for them too! :)
    .-= nicole´s last blog ..Robert Pattinson Talks Sex Scene on “The View” =-.

  22. It hurts my little heart too, and I dont even get a notice, I just see one less friend on GFC, and wonder who, and where I insulted someone.That’s like being broken up via an annon. post it!!!
    I recently cleaned out my GFC connect ( but I ADDED you, b/c you wernt coming up on it, before!) because I use my dashboard, on blogger, to catch up on blogs & after adding some that I dont read (and wont) for giveaways, they make me miss updates ( like yours!) that I don’t want to miss!
    I like what Stefanie said, you guys are very right!
    .-= claire´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss =-.

  23. The blogger world is like one giant high school. We are all trying to find our place. Leaves me longing for a big bottle of Aqua Net.
    .-= Stefanie´s last blog ..a hot mess =-.

  24. OMG I feel the same way. Totally sad. Makes me eat more chocolate, because I`m sad! I am so worried, did I do something wrong, was my last post not good enough? WTF?
    All we can do is just being yourself and there will others that will fall in love with you. Just keep up the good work!

  25. I hear ya Sarah. I choose not to receive the email because I already make myself sick in so many different ways. It’s like that 8 minute dating or whatever its called. If you say one wrong thing the person hits the timer and moves to the next seat. Not fun!


    PS: You crack me up and I am so glad we are friends. ;)
    .-= Lee´s last blog ..Where Are Your Pants? Do Your Kids Insist On Being Undressed All Day? =-.

  26. It is like breaking via a stick note. Cruel and inhumane! I like @SuburbanJungle’s idea. Gotta make it sting a bit and maybe throw some poor pity me in there too LOL!
    .-= Brittany´s last blog ..IsABelt Mother’s Day Gift =-.

  27. I know I feel the same way! I get sad when people I know and I follow yet they never follow back. Like they are too busy and too important for lil’ old me! I don’t subscribe in email much anymore because it was too bogged down. I prefer Facebook follow and then you can see the post and come read and comment. I do believe in following on twitter and google friend connect, networked blogs, FB Fan page of those who follow me. I think it is polite and you never know you might be-friending your next best friend!
    .-= Susieqtpie´s last blog ..Soft Pretzel Recipe & Tropical Traditions Review & Giveaway =-.

  28. Okay, I confess…. I did it. My apologies for any sadness I caused you. I unsubscribed from receiving your posts by email, well, mostly because I needed to cleanup what I was receiving in my inbox. I got a new computer with a nifty reader with the email application and that is how I am reading your blog now. I’m still a fan of your blog and will continue reading, just in a different way.
    .-= Karen ~Georgia Angel´s last blog ..Full Yellow Moon =-.

    • @Karen ~Georgia Angel, LOL Karen, how is my guilt trip, huh?! My friend Heather Allard said that more times than not the people were using a new email address or moving to a reader. Still, it stings. But you have softened the blow and for that, I thank you ;) xoxo Sarah

    • I agree with Karen. I don’t remember if I unsubbed yet but I hate getting blog updates in my email since they come 12+ hours after I saw the post in my google reader. :-)

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