When you realize that “perfect mom” is not so perfect…

I had a friend who, to anyone that knew her, seemed down right perfect.  I know no one is perfect, but she really was pretty damn close. Her house was gorgeously decorated, her hair and makeup were always perfect…even for the beach. She was the perfect hostess. Seriously, she gave Martha a run for her money. And she was like super mommy when it came to bringing snacks to the park or hosting a play date.

Many a time I’d return home after a playdate or an afternoon at the park and I’d feel like shit.

I’d beat myself up…

“Why didn’t I pack that awesome lunch for the beach?”

“Gosh I wish my house looked like that.”

“How the hell can she be so well coiffed?”

Then one day, we were over for a playdate and I had to take my little one to the bathroom. I had to squat down to hold him on the big potty. And when I grabbed him off the seat, what did I see?  The rim under the toilet seat was brown, disgusting, I dare say, down right nasty!

And what did I do?  I smiled the biggest smile and laughed to myself.  My child thought I was crazy.

I thought “ROCK ON, she’s NOT PERFECT!”

It’s all about small victories, right?

I have since realized that she may seem perfect in so many ways but I was comparing apples to oranges.

-I have two kids. She has one.

-I work from home. She doesn’t work.

-I don’t wear much make up, let alone to the beach…she’s more of a girly girl.

Moral of the story, we all have our issues, whether our laundry pile is a mile high (who me?!) or you have a shit stained toilet rim…no one is perfect. (thank goodness!)


  1. mauimommy says:

    hey Sarah,

    that was “laugh out loud” funny! and the funniest thing about it is that that scenario pretty much just happened to me!

    I used to feel like a slob, until I saw the shower and toilet of this perfect someone! I may have laundry growing into a monster, and don’t forget the paper monster (mail, magazines I don’t want to get rid of, kids school work, etc.) but I must say my toilet, tub, and sinks are almost always spotless. I’m kinda a freak about that kinda stuff! My motto, “I’m just messy, not dirty” it makes me feel a little better!


  2. Ahh! I am so glad to have seen your reply to my comment on ScaryMommy’s website!! We have something very much in common ma’am. Come visit me at my blog and maybe someday soon I (really) can go visit you! Haha.

    • @The Wifey, ALoha! I have a friend set to move to Oahu in May! You are going to love it here! So nice to meet you!

  3. LOL, I know some people like that, and yes, I found out they weren’t perfect either.
    .-= Lorri Jeanne´s last blog ..The Princess and the Frog =-.

  4. So my Grandmother is one of those people and their is a stain in her throne. As a child I was scare to touch anything there and I found a picture where my dad wearing and apron there. He was @ 8 years old. So yes it made me feel better too.
    .-= Jennifer “Life Is A SandCastle”´s last blog ..Winner $50 PhotoWorks Giveaway =-.

  5. Can you take my kids with you perfectly?

    Because I can stay behind at your house and watch reality tv perfectly if you can take all the kids to the beach perfectly.


  6. I try to convince people that I’m not perfect, but it’s not easy. I’m all “you GUYS, I’m awesome, but not THAT awesome!!” and they’re all “no Kat you really are that awesome!” and then I’m all “yeah I guess you’re right.”

    I’m not a fan of sand though….so you wouldn’t catch me being awesome at the beach.
    .-= Mama Kat´s last blog ..Honey, Don’t Bother With The New York Times. They’re Too Busy Slamming Your Mommy. =-.

    • @Mama Kat,

      Cool, I’m good at the beach so you do what you do perfectly and I’ll do the beach thing perfectly and together we will be perfectly happy!

  7. I always love how clean my mom’s house is (my grandparents are OCD and live with her – they clean constantly). But my sister told me the other day that the house isn’t as clean as I think. LMAO. I forgot what she saw – but she saw something “dirty”. I think if you look close at ANY house you will find something. And we are all very nit picky about our own houses and selves.

    I wonder if I have a point here. LOL. I think I do. I agree with you, first off. And second, at this point in our lives we have to enjoy the time with our kids and family. If that means not scrubbing corners and instead going to the park … so be it. That’s the memory they will have and hold on to.

    Besides, perfection is an illusion that MILs try to deceive us with. LMAO. You have to look at the (wo)man behind the curtain.
    .-= erin´s last blog ..My Emmy Baby: Star Wars Personalized Tees (and More) #Win =-.

    • @erin, Oh girl, you will for sure find soemthign dirty at my house! lol

      The thing is the problem with my “perfect mom friend” was my own little voice in my head telling me “she better at xyz than myself” when really she was just as normal as me. I’m not good at hostessing, she’s not good at toilets, evidently ;) It made me feel a tad better about myself, yes it took a dirty toilet to do so…sad, huh?! She can’t do it all either! Phew!

      Yes, behind the curtain we’re all just women trying our hardest to be good moms, good wives good housekeepers..but we’re all normal, real and NOT perfect!

  8. Well now I feel REALLY good about myself :) I have FIVE kids and my toilet bowl sparkles LOL!!

  9. Love it! When I was pregnant with my son, I threw up at my mother-in-law’s house and saw how dirty the toilet was. It made me feel good for some reason.
    .-= Jodi – Mom’s Favorite Stuff´s last blog ..This Body =-.

  10. who would have ever thought toilet scum could bring so much joy to someones’s life :D
    .-= Robin´s last blog ..Monday Moments: The Garden Awakens =-.

  11. I know exactly how you feel. So much so that I love that my new closest friend is actually worse than me. I love not having to run around like a mad woman every time she comes over just to feel ok about it. Instead I pick up but don’t sweat the small stuff because I know she doesn’t. I get to look forward to our playdates rather than stress about them.
    Great post!
    .-= Emilie´s last blog ..The Baby Bunch Baby Egg Nest {Review & Giveaway} =-.

  12. omg. this is awesome!!! I so know someone like that and I loved it when I saw a dust bunny.

  13. I’ve completely given up trying to keep up with the Joneses. I’ve thrown the towel in. I’m done. It’s so exhausting and when you get down to it, no one’s life is picture perfect. We’ve all got a few shit stains lurking around somewhere. ;)
    Great post Sarah. I hope you’re enjoying a lovely day in Hawaii nei.

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
    .-= Kristi {at} Live and Love…Out Loud´s last blog ..Breastfeeding: A Few Simple Tips To Help Beat The Teeth-Scraping Blues =-.

    • @Kristi {at} Live and Love…Out Loud,

      I 100% agree! I’ve also gotten rid of people in my life that make me feel like crap. Only positive peeps allowed! I’m just happier that way :)

  14. New Post: “ROCK ON, she’s NOT PERFECT!” http://theohanamama.com/2010/03/perfect-

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