Can Single Mama’s & Married Mamas Be Friends?

divorceThat’s the convo over at Momversation.com today and I was lucky to get to chat about it with some single mama’s over there and put my two cents in.

As we all hear, it’s estimated that 50% (is it more now?) of marriages end in divorce so chances are we’re going to be effected by it, whether it’s you or your friend going through the “BIG D.” I think this is a great topic for us to all talk about and learn from each other about how us married mama’s can be there for our single mama friends and how we can continue to grow as life throws us curve balls. Take a look see…

So what do you think? Can we all be friends? Are you divorced or have friends that have gotten divorced since you met? Did your friendships change through such a huge life change and evolve or did you lose contact? Continue the conversation and leave a comment!

Stressed out Working Mom. Who me?!

The ladies at momversation posed the question, “Are YOU a stressed out working mom?”

To me, the lovely ladies at momversation seemed waaaaaaay to calm to me to be working moms.  Can I please have whatever it is they are taking because I would buy stock!

I also wondered what sort of support group they have? Babysitters, mommy’s helpers, grandparents, are their children in school?  Because I have yet to find a support system and am trying to conquer it all, just my hubby and me.

I was happy when Heather brought up that she can compartmentalize her duties because her daughter is in school.  What to do when you have kids younger than school age and are a work from home mom? It’s probably the hardest route of any “mommy” situation.

Working outside the home you can focus on your work. Being a SAHM you can focus on kids. Doing both at home? Well you have one hand in a diaper the other on a keyboard and you pray that sh*t doesn’t end up on the return key. It’s H.A.R.D!

Here is my answer. What do YOU think? Stressed? Yeah, just a wee bit.

I have, however, done things lately to combat this…I always like a little resolution/solution/tips/tricks with a question like this, so here you go…

Tips to Help Fight Being a Stressed-Out Working mom…

Get a schedule - plan your day(s) so that you know and your kids know what is coming next.  Oh I put up a fight with the idea of a schedule thinking my life would be too regimented, but chaos is not freedom, it’s chaos and it’s stressful. So far this has helped me enormously!

Get an iphone or another smart phone – you can multi task.  The risk of being to connected all.the.time is there but overall, it has helped me not stress out thinking that my inbox was being filled to the brim while I was pushing the swing for my daughter.  Yeah the emails still come but I can scroll through them quickly while sitting in the parking lot heading back home so I know what we are in for when we return and plan accordingly.

Live in the moment. You cannot do it all…at all the same time.  Yes you can accomplish a crap load in one day but it ain’t gonna happen if you try to do it all at the same time.  So put each thing you need to do into its own slot during the day and focus on that one thing and do it, get it done and move on.

Turn off the email. I used to get a ding with each new message.  I was constantly hearing it and running to check email.  That would eventually lead me on a long long stint at my computer – too long and usually unnecessary. Now, I turn off the email when I need to get writing done or other tasks for my job or be a mom.

So far these small things have helped me. I have also realized that I can turn of my computer, email, or phone BUT I can’t turn off being a mom.  The emails WILL wait but my child with a dirty diaper or running naked throughout the house peeing on the carpet, will not…for anyone or anything.

In any case, life is a bit of a circus act right at this moment and I am the juggler.  But a circus means FUN!  Right?

Are you a stressed out working mom? Share! Leave me a comment!

How do you Mentally Prepare for Baby Number Two? The Ohana Mama Chats with the Chicks over at Momversation

Dooce, aka Heather Armstrong, is ready to have baby number two.  In this episode, the moms (INCLUDING ME!!! OMG) chat about how to get mentally prepared for your second child.

A bit about my story and getting ready for #2…

I was very very excited to have another child.  Not just for me & my husband, but even more so for my first born, Cameron.  I was excited that we were giving him a permanent playmate (and permanent arch nemesis). Like a little present cooking up in mommy’s belly.

We moved to Maui when I was 14 weeks pregnant.  With no babysitter, no friends and no family on island, my son came with me to every OB visit.  Other than a necessity, I liked how this was a way for Cam to be part of this new journey we, as a family, were embarking on.  I also thought is created just enough of an interruption in Cam’s daily life for him to start to get used to another being taking up some of mommy’s time.

Cam was with me when I found out what we were having.  He was with me when doctors realized I was having pre-term labor and was hooked up to the monitor to track contractions. Yes, he was even in the room when I had my membranes stripped when I was declared past due!  I think having my buddy along with me totally helped him mentally prepare and helped me start to juggle taking care of two kids, albeit with one still in my womb.

In the end (or the beginning, perhaps), after my daughter was born, I was able to pull out my mental tool box that I had stocked from going through everything with my son.  And it’s those tools that are continuously helping me get through the hard times and recognize the good and ‘must-take-mental-note’ times. And number two has given me some new tools of her own and it’s all ever evolving. They keep me on my toes and bring the biggest joy to my world, the two of them.  And I believe they like each other…no really, I KNOW they like each other.  Life with two is…good!

Anyhow, check out today’s momversation and be sure to head on over and leave a comment over at the momversation site – you have to register, but believe me, you’ll be back…they’re convos are entertaining, real and addictive!

Here you go…The Ohana Mama as a real, honest-to-goodness, guest panelist on Momversations…

How did you get mentally ready for number two? Share!

The Swine Flu Takes a Vacation in Hawaii

It’s official, three cases of swine flu have been reported in Hawaii.  They are all on Oahu but Oahu is the main point on entry for all islands in the chain of Hawaii.  The ladies on momversation happened to be talking about Swine Flu and so of course I had to put my take on it!

We’re on a small secluded island so one sick person can get a whole lot of other people sick really fast.

Are you concerned about the swine flu?  Do you have any cases by you? What’s YOUR take? Leave a comment!!

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